I want everyone with a financial stake in the Watchmen movie to make as much money as they possibly can.  They deserve every dime they can wring out of this film. I’ll be going to see the Director’s Cut at the Arclight, during it’s one weekend release, and buying the blu-ray when it comes out a few days later. I’ll buy the extended cut, with Black Freighter integrated, and extradimensional squid effects test footage, when it comes out this Christmas. And I will cheerfully buy a 4th copy, if they ever produce one with the soundtrack on editable layers. As much as i loved the movie, the ability to swap in songs i actually enjoy, instead of Sounds of Silence, Boogeyman and Hallelujah, would make me ever so happy. [Snyder, you fucking put a fake Bowie in the movie...it didn't occur that some of his stuff might perfectly work with the material (i mean, if you're absolutely determined to stay period?)]

Anyway, the point of this is that the Watchmen Director’s Cut has leaked online this week. Quality is said to be pretty good, but I think I’m waiting to see it in theater and on bd. Aint it Cool has the following rundown of changes from one downloader:

“I would rate the theatrical cut an 8 and this 3hr cut a 10

Here’s a list of changes that I noticed:

1. At the end of Rorschach’s search of the comedian’s apartment. Two cops enter, he knocks one of the cops out and jumps out the window as the other cop is firing his gun at him.

2. Rorschach has more comic book monolouge, throughout the movie. Though I’m only going to mention it once. (nothing but the good stuff too.)

3. Dan and Holis’s visit is extended by seeing roschrach on TV. Hollis comments “It didn’t stop him.” (refering to the keane act.)

4. More scenes from the comic such as:

– Before they walk into the alley we are introduced to the scene by the news vendor talking to Seymour delivering his papers.

– When Jon says “leave me alone” everyone in the room disappears. Leaving him alone.

– Cut back to Laurie and Dan at the end of the fight.

– Laurie decides to go back to the military base and Dan meets with Hollis; they watch TV and learn of Jon’s departure. Dan says laurie doesn’t know. Cut to Jon on Mars and his story.

–The only major difference in this scene that I can remember is Jon talks about his symbol, slightly varied from the comic he says,”The boys in marketing wanted me to have a symbol. I said if I should have a symbol it shall be one I respect.”

–Next scene is Laurie getting interrogated at the military base. They discover that Jon is on Mars and Laurie escapes and decides to go stay with Dan.

5. Rorschach has more dialogue from the comic with Dr. Malcom. Also in his story of the girl, the murder is shown as in the comic – walking outside, asking his dogs to bark, when they don’t he draws his gun and enters the building.

6. Rorschach and Laurie argue on the rooftop of the jail; Rorschach more or less calls Laurie a whore. They escape.

7. Jon and Laurie begin their conversation as they did in the comic: “You’re going to tell me you have been having an affair with Dan”.

8. A few more interesting changes, happen. ( uh, wut? -s)

9. Oh and Hollis talks on the phone with Sally, only to be interrupted by knocks at the door. He has a great montage death scene. They also explain why the knot heads go there at an earlier point.

10. In the bar, Dan sees the news of Hollis’s death by knot heads and beats up one in the bar (knocks out like all of his front teeth. pretty brutal).”

No mention of Veidt shouting, “I DID IT!” That’s the one addition I’m really counting on…maybe it’s covered under #8? Also, the Bruce Willis spaceman villain better be in there!

If you absolutely can’t wait, check your favorite torrent tracker site…and if you end up digging it, do consider buying a copy on July 21. Great comic films are worth, and deserve, supporting.

Sony just announced a September 17th 2010 release date for Resident Evil: Afterlife, the 4th movie in the RE film franchise. Hollywood.tv just posted the video embedded below, of Milla Jovovich confirming that the shoot will commence at the end of the year.

The Resident Evil series has, so far, produced 3 films over 5 years, with cumulative, unadjusted, worldwide box office reciepts of over $375 million…and not a single damn action figure. We are seven years out since the first Resident Evil, and like 12 years after her iconic turn in The Fifth Element. While it may be mystifying that seemingly guaranteed sellers like Daniel Craig’s Bond, or Jason Statham as Frank Martin (or Chev Chelios…or anything) remain unproduced by any legit company, Milla is so overdue for an action figure that it hurts.

Anyone following the series will remember that the last film, Resident Evil: Extinction, ended with the assembly of an army of naked clones of Milla’s telekinetic Alice, about to set off after the Umbrella Corporation’s shadowy board of secret figures.  Whether the upcoming sequel will actually follow that storyline, or whether Jensen Ackles really will show up as RE game hero Leon Kennedy, remain to be seen.

I sorta liked Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li. I’m a Smallville mark, i like Kristin Kreuk, alot, and have an enduring love of the Street Fighter franchise. I am, however, not a fan of utterly misleading marketing. Bought the blu-ray yesterday, haven’t gotten around to watching it yet, but have it on good authority that the added footage is minimal ( unrated version is 1:37:22 – the theatrical version is 1:36:34), most involving a violent conflict with Neal McDonough’s M. Bison.

If you see “Unleashed (?) & Unrated” on the box art, and start envisioning nude Lana Lang and Moon Bloodgood (who plays a character sort-of based on C. Viper from Street Fighter IV) frolics, consider this fair warning that you might want to spend your hard earned sheckels elsewhere. But if you genuinely dig video game-inspired cinema, know that you could do far, far worse.

Problem solved. IGN has an interview with DC Direct’s VP-Creative Georg Brewer, regarding their Blackest Night merchandising plans. During the course of the article, they disclose two upcoming waves of BN action figures (most pictured above…is that a straight re-release of Star Sapphire, or have they made changes? Can’t tell…), with one conspicuously absent.

Wave #3
- Black Lantern Aquaman 6.75″
- Green Lantern Arisia with power battery 6.5″
- Star Sapphire with power battery 6.625″
- Larfleeze The Orange Lantern with Glomulus and power battery 7″ GLOMULUS is 2.375″

Wave #4
- Black Lantern Firestorm 6.75″ to top of head (helmet increases height)
- Green Lantern Kyle Raynor with power battery 6.75″
- Black Hand with Batman skull 6.75″
- Wonder Woman 6.625″ to top of head (hair increases height)

As they’re not showing her, there’s speculation the inclusion of Wonder Woman can only suggest Diana’s imminent addition to the ranks of undead Black Lanterns. Which means someone at DC thinks its a great idea to kill her off. 1derful. Killing off characters is so daring and compelling.

Apparently there’s some precedent. I don’t read Wonder Woman, but in “Rise of the Olympian,” the just-completed story arc, Diana faced an enemy called Genocide, who was revealed to be her own reanimated corpse, brought back from an undisclosed point in the future by Ares. Wonder Woman finally defeats Genocide, but the body isn’t recovered.

Stupid? Probably…but zombie goth Diana will probably be the best looking Wonder Woman figure ever produced, and I do really want the Arisa (fighting the good fight to keep the Violet Lanterns from monopolizing cleavage) and Black Lantern Firestorm figures!

I may even have to get Black Hand, just for the Batman skull.

OhmyfuckingGod it’s the Chipettes!!!!!!!!!! The extended teaser for Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel hit online yesterday, providing a compelling reason to stay alive until Christmas.

I am genuinely looking forward to this…but fully aware that’s not a widely shared anticipation amongst the over 12. There were a couple lulz-worthy comments on aicn to reinforce this point, the first referencing the film’s scheduled release.

also, this.

The film’s official site just went up, http://munkyourself.com/, featuring a design your own idealized rodent counterpart, and a text to Chipmunk speech tool (oh exploitable.)

I am so making glasses for my hamster.

6 months down, and the best movie of 2009 remains Crank: High Voltage.  Nihilistic bliss on a shoestring budget, that plays like equal parts Gilliam and Miike. If anything is going to steal that crown, it’s going to have to be spectacular and godlike.

Crank 2 dvd will be out on dvd September 8th, to coincide with the release of Neveldine/Taylor’s Gamer, starring Michael C. Hall.

…and for 3 minutes 42 seconds, i actually like Linkin Park. Video contains spoilers, but i guess if you really cared, you would’ve paid to see it while it was out, back in April.

#2 for the year (to date) also seems pretty secure.

Carol Ferris costume, ready to spread love. I think about 7 hours of actual work went into it, over the course of a week. I like how this turned out, more images coming.

Executive Summary: The interplay between Depp and Bale generates so much sparky electric tension, that fuckhead Henry Waxman might try to tax Public Enemies out of existence.

Is it damned faint praise to call Public Enemies the best movie of the summer? I don’t think so, since technically very good stuff like Moon and Easy Virtue were released in the same timeframe…but as far as the big summer ‘09 movies (so far), Public Enemies is in an elevated class.

Road to Perdition comes to mind, when looking for a reference point. Both films played in the depression-era crime sandbox, both feature ridiculously deep pools of onscreen talent, and both are fucking gold. Perdition is still one of my 6 or 7 favorite comic adaptations, and has one of the best scores in film…so it’s a testament to just how good PE is, that I have a hard time giving the edge to either one, at this point.

Also, it’s really encouraging to see just how good Channing Tatum is as a psychotic Pretty Boy Floyd…if he brought anywhere near that kind of intensity to Duke in the upcoming G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, then maybe there’ll be a reason not to fast forward through all the non-Cobra scenes (still, with Gordon-Levitt, Eccleston, and Miller…there’s definitely going to be a wide disparity in awesome, between the two sides.)

Depp has long been rumored as a potential Riddler/Joker replacement in the next Nolan Batman movie (assuming he actually makes one.) I hope that happens…based on the dynamic Depp/Bale interplay in this movie, it would be a tragic waste of potential not to reteam these actors.

Found this image on Encyclopedia Dramatica’s Billy Mays tribute: it now stands as the second greatest lulz generator of 2009, somewhere between the first 40 minutes of Crank 2 and the episode of Xavier: Renegade Angel, where they channeled Family Matters.

On the subject of embarrassing movies i dig: was sad about no Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 trailer in front of Transformers 2…seemed like a perfect venue to debut it. Consoled myself by finding this: a chipmunk version of NIN’s Closer. I melted.

edit: uhhhh…it’s not embedding. F. See it here.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen goes so far out of its way to be horrible, i am left with no choice but to admire it.  The fucking audacity Bay displays throughout the 70+ minutes of pure filler that the film is overstuffed with is staggering. It had me laughing so hard at one point, i lost a good mouthful of Rockstar via my nose. Which is gross, but it’s the only way i can convey just how sort-of awesome this movie is.

I can only conclude that Bay actually despises anyone who would pay $10-$20 to sit through this movie, assuming he’s not  a total misanthrope. It becomes clear that John Turturro was just a symbolic stand-in for the audience (humanity?), in the first Transformers. This sequel goes far beyond Chev Chelios or Wesley Gibson breaking the 4th wall to flip us off…Bay is now directly pissing on the audience.

No, it’s not good, but is an achievement. A $200 million, audacious, contempt-fueled work of art.

I know two people working on Make It or Break It (aka Stick It minus Missy Peregrym and Jeff Bridges.) I’ve seen some of it, and i thoroughly recommend checking it out, if you have any love for gymnastics. Or girls in spandex.  Also, Josie Loren looks eerily like a younger Eliza Dushku. It debuts on ABC Family tonight.

Speaking of Dushku, I’m looking forward to Wet.

Finally, were i trying to rejuvenate a once potent magazine, misleading/tricking internet un-savvy customers into paying for a product that does not deliver on an implied promise would seem like a dicey proposition.

Yeah, you may get a sales pop by putting Olivia Munn on your cover, but when those prospective conversions discover the pics are just Maxim-style (even though the images, and Olivia, do look great!), how many are going to be left with insurmountably negative brand associations?

Playboy stock closed today around $2.50, down like 7%…which seems retardedly cheap. Even if print is post-dead, their content libraries and cable/internet operations have to be worth something?