Posted the Avengers one, so throwing this up. It’s clearly supposed to be humorous, and it is, sort-of. It’s also a bit infuriating, mostly because i’ve heard many of these arguments cited in full on, irony-free earnestness by critics of the film.
I’m reminded of the video that went around last year, where someone slowed and deconstructed a blu-ray rip of the lightsaber fight in The Phantom Menace, to show how staged it actually is, and that there was, in fact, not a real 3-way duel to the death with blades made of hard light taking place.
Doing shit like that, or getting OCD over real/perceived plot-holes, seems to be increasingly pervasive. It’s also increasingly sad. You’re picking apart works of art that were created with the foremost intent to entertain (and hopefully turn a profit), not to flawlessly mimic conventional reality. And to what end? To prove that a work of fiction is not real? Quite an achievement. I was on the set of The Dark Knight Rises a few times. Nobody seemed to be laboring under the belief that they were shooting a documentary.
Like a movie, or don’t like a movie, but to invest such time and effort to definitively establish key plot points of a film are contrived, and action sequences are fake…perhaps that chi could be more wisely spent focusing on personal relationships/education/career path?
…says the idiot with a movie blog. New cosplay pics up later.
12 Responses to “Conclusive proof that fiction is not real”
These would be a lot better if they actually focused on the areas where the film made a mistake, rather than trying(and failing) to be funny.
Eh, it all depends. On the one hand you have Looper, which wisely sits the audience down and explains in no uncertain terms that the method and logistics of time travel were not the point of the film. On the other, you’ve got the Nolan Bat-films, which in my mind aren’t the best things ever because they’re mostly Chris Nolan doing time on a big studio franchise to ensure he can get backing to do something more personal. Where Memento and Inception were painstakingly constructed and thought out to tiny details, his Bat-films have been pretty straightforward and tend to feature gaping plot holes. The bat-films present themselves as something to be taken seriously, which is why the glitches in storytelling are easier to point out.
I’m fine with thoughtful analysis because, being an amateur artist, I like looking at the inner workings of art. But yeah, there’s a damn limit. The Red Letter Media takedowns of the Star Wars prequels were very insightful and intelligent. Yet, pulling apart the Duel of the Fates scene? Jesus Christ, that’s the only thing I can even watch in that movie without wanting to throw a chair.
That said, this particular fellow sucks at pointing out ‘flaws.’
- Wayne’s supposed to have guards in every room in his house or something?
- I’d have a nipple bed too, if I was rich.
- Wow, spelling error. Typos do happen in major publications, though.
- What Alfred did is called ‘foreshadowing’ which is something you learn about in the 5th grade and is perfectly valid in storytelling and is in fact a staple of storytelling since forever.
- Blake knows Batman’s identity because he’s not dumb and pays attention. It’s not just the face, obviously- Wayne’s got the money for the hardware, lives in Gotham, has the motive of dead parents, and pretty much most people in Gotham should be able to figure this out anyhow. The scene in question lets you know that Blake is intuitive, like a detective. Zuh.
- I was kind of glad he didn’t use the Batman voice in the hospital.
- That bitch is obviously Selena’s hooker buddy. They come in pairs. What, you never saw Pretty Woman?
- True that cops can trace a cell phone without a call being made, can’t argue with that.
- Batman hasn’t been Batman in 8 years and that scene shows just how slick Selena is. Obviously.
- Magical knee brace does kind of suck, but it’s not any more magical than his supertank and ultrajet.
- Alfred did research, that was established in the movie.
- Good question on the motorcycles, but one can assume the people working in the building snuck them in earlier, like the guns and computer hacking stuff they snuck in.
- Yeah, daytime/night time was bad continuity. Blade Runner kind of got away with that, and it is widely known that Nolan is a huge fan of that movie. So, maybe it was intentional? Still, point.
- Clean Slate is no less ridiculous than the very concept of Batman, and it provides good motivation for Selena anyhow.
- If Batman was walking toward me, I would also flail my arms and fall over. Hell, I’d be lucky if I kept bowel control.
- Alfred is watching his best friend and godson cripple and kill himself, of course he’s upset.
- The illegal stock trade thing is arguable. It is known there was a broad-daylight terrorist attack on the stock market, but other than that, what evidence did they leave showing that they tampered specifically with Wayne’s accounts? I’m sure high-priced lawyers could fight it, but then I’m not an expert on cyber fraud. A more relatable question is why the hell did the electric company shut off the electricity to his house after missing one payment?
- Given that she saw Wayne was a crippled recluse that she easily knocked to the ground and burgled earlier, yeah, I could see how Catwoman would be surprised he’s Batman.
- The reactor is an experimental sci-fi MacGuffin, sure it can be turned into a nuke in two minutes why not.
- Sending all of the cops into the sewer was kind of a bonehead move, yeah.
- Sometimes ya just need a damn gun whether you like them or not.
- They probably wanted one bridge alone so it would be easier to defend than a bunch of bridges spread out over many miles. Blowing up all of the bridges would have made transporting goods, vehicles, and supplies a real bitch.
- The government doing nothing big and dramatic is a little weird, yeah, but they were sneaking people in for reconnaissance and that’s not exactly nothing.
- No, Bane was doing a W.C. Fields impression. For the whole movie.
- Another accepted trope of storytelling is the vision quest, the walkabout, the sweat lodge, the acid trip, whatever. He didn’t give Batman any new information, just explained to the audience in a visually pleasing way the information Bruce is putting together in his own mind.
- One can only assume that Catwoman’s at least a little butch.
- It’s probably a satellite connection, but regardless, you should switch your cable service provider.
- Yeah, that fall would at least have permanently fucked his already damaged back.
- It bugs me that he made it to Gotham without anything but the shabby prison clothes on his back from whatever middle eastern shithole he was stranded in, but given that Batman is resourceful I can assume he hopped a freighter to someplace more civilized and contacted some friends to help him get the rest of the way. One can assume Bruce Wayne has connections. Maybe he blew a trucker.
- And The Crow ripped from the Ku Klux Klan. Look, fire’s a pretty bold statement, and Batman is well known for using psychological warfare in the most absurd ways possible.
- Yeah, the cop charge was dumb.
- Yeah, the cartilage and spinal issues are kinda swept under the rug.
- Thanatos and Eros are the prime motivators in life, are they not? Remember the words of the great Huey Lewis- “It can turn a hawk into a little white dove, that’s the power of love.” The power of love, friends.
- The blast radius totally would have killed Batman, yes.
- The radiation effects of that particular type of bomb aren’t made clear. Also, nukes are quite survivable as long as you avoid the heatwave- radiation and fallout are serious, but keeping yourself covered, not drinking contaminated water, traveling upwind, and taking iodine. They’re not out of the woods, but yeah, I’d celebrate not being incinerated.
- Famous in Gotham, sure, but how famous in Italy? How many famous billionaires from Chicago can YOU identify in a restaurant, let alone some rich guy from another country?
And if we’re being REALLY picky, the countdown wasn’t for a fuse that ignites some TNT, it was a countdown marking when the core would become unstable. This in and of itself is ridiculous, because becoming ‘unstable’ doesn’t mean ‘explode.’ Also, becoming unstable isn’t a perfectly timed process usually… and would the core getting slammed all over the place in a big truck wreck, then smacking into a cement barrier on its way to being flown out to sea cause the instability to accelerate? Who knows, it’s a new magical power source, it pretty much does what the screenwriter wants.
As you’ve mentioned on the same video regarding the Avengers movie. It’s funny, but it stings doesn’t it?
Okay maybe I’m a fool but pointing out that Bruce would definately have died just annoys me
(WARNING MATH CONTENT TO FOLLOW)
The blast radius is specifically mentioned as 6 miles or 9.6561KM. Now that that has been established we look to the design of The Bat. The design suggests an aircraft capable of at least supersonic speed (defined by NASA as between Mach 1.2 and Mach 5) as it has the sharp edges and thin foil edges characteristic of such aircraft. Now assuming that Gotham city is at or close to sea level because it sits directly in the bay this would mean mach 1.2 is approximately 915 MPH or 1470 KMH. From the time that Bruce Wayne/Batman leaves the bridge until detonation appears to be approximately 36 seconds (If we take this as one continuous shot) In that time The Bat dissapears to the horizon again supporting its capability of great speed. Now if we assume it is only at the base levels of supersonic mentioned above then the bat is capable of travelling 408 m/s or 446 yds/s. now again making assumptions that Bruce ejected fairly early on lets say 6 seconds in he would be 2.45 KM or 1.919 Miles which is far enough to say no one would have seen him and also coincides with the last shot of him in the Bat this would leave him 30 sec to hit the water and 30 sec for The Bat at base level speed of Mach 1.2 which would mean it could travel 12.25KM or 7 miles 1076.8yds much higher than the 6 miles originally described as the blast radius. We also must assume that The Bat did not drop from the sky meaning the detonation was in fact above the water and not in it meaning that the downward force of the blast would be significantly dampened by the ocean meaning Bruce outside the blast radius could also be protected partially from reflected blast waves. Wouldn’t want to do it if you could avoid it but there is nothing to suggest that Bruce would definately be 100% dead. I mean if we are just going to nitpick and try to end everyones fun could we at least put some thought into it? Oh and if you can’t believe all of that then check out The Bat when they’re looking over it at the end seems they recovered it pretty much intact since we don’t know the specs maybe its made to withstand nuclear blasts (though the first explanation is far more believable for me)
PS the cartelage problem did we forget about the “magic” knee brace which is partially based in current research into prosthesis helpers designed to help people with artificial limbs walk naturally again?
The only thing I hate worse then people who nitpick comic books, is people who nitpick comicbook movies. If I want reality, there’s plenty of harsh, cold, reality right out side of my window…I don’t need to pay anyone to see it either. I go to movies, because I want to feel better about the shitty world I live in…which means I want to see a world where tragic and horrible things happen, but are set right by some guy who does things that defy the senses. It’s called entertainment.
And over half of the plot points this reviewer railed against were actually explained in the movie. The other half was a nod to comic fans, like the leg exo-skeleton to help Bruce deal with his injured leg being similar to the one Barbara Gordon used a few times after being paralyzed by the Joker. Blake had to have superior detective skills, because at the end of the movie he steps into the boots of the world’s greatest detective.
But whatever….LOL.
Wow, Phoenix…that’s really impressive! Taking your word on the math, as i tried to follow along and ended up like this.
I assumed that chassis they were working on at the end was a trainer/flight simulator, but maybe they actually recovered it that intact?
Also, excellent point-by-point refutation, Galv, especially considering you’re not that big of a fan of the movie.
All i can add is:
-no fallout is kind of the point of a neutron bomb (Dr. Pavel specifically calls it that at the football stadium.)
-the SEC probably takes longer than a week to complete an investigation, and by that point the entire city was being held hostage.
The way the US Govt moves, it would of been 6 months before the attack even got through the proper channels at the SEC.
Good point on the SEC, also I forgot that it was a neutron bomb. Yeah, that would limit the fallout. Heh, great moment from 21 Jump Street. Am I the only person that sees a non-fat, young male stripper version of Alex Jones when I look at that Tatum fellow? I can’t be the only one.
Phoenix- math waved goodbye to me a long time ago, but what you’re saying sounds reasonable. Kudos.
I probably would have gone with long winded, over thought and geeky but I’ll take impressive. Thanks.
As for the Bat at the end because of the paint job (the original camo paint) i first thought it must be a second Bat but if that was in the armoury Bane would have to have used it. You wouldn’t take the tanks and leave that one behind. You’re idea seems plausible though all the simulators i have ever seen require a fully enclosed cockpit like space for the projection screens to take effect and do not need the remainder of the body so i came to the conclusion that it must be The original Bat that has been recovered.
Flying over the top of Nuclear blasts is not as dangerous as it sounds (how else would the planes that dropped them survive inside the blast radius) and one assumes that a close combat military vehicle would have some sort of armour and heat shielding especially considering that the underside has an exposed rotor blade that would be vulnerable to attack so its not totally unbelievable it survived and the newer paint just peeled off due to heat stress (though the survival of the electronics is a little more puzzling… EMP and all). And yes i agree i have thought about this way too much.
On another note i found this one to be funnier (you need to stick past the stupid questions) and wait for starring… its @ 4:17
I dig the Honest Trailers. Heh.
My favorite was for Prometheus- I will now and forever refer to Charleze Theron as Charlie the Ron, and Noomi Rapace as Noomy Rapeface.