We can be…LYCANS!

With a gun to your head, and you have to choose one or the other, would you sit through Push (aka Jumper 2) or Inkheart?

Okay…yeah, you can opt to take the bullet, instead. I think I might do that. These look like the most horrifically soulless, boring and mundane-friendly wide releases in recent memory. And that’s coming from someone actively anticipating Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 and The Legend of Chun-Li.

On the subject of stuff that actually makes me happy, the new, official trailer for Crank 2 debuts tonight with the initial, late night screenings of LionsGate’s My Bloody Valentine 3D. This is a very different trailer from the footage posted here. Crank 2: High Voltage will be hitting theaters on April 19, 2009, and word is already leaking out that directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor are prepping Crank 3D, which is the best news I’ve heard in months.